You know, I always said I wanted to win a pageant, and now I know I should
have been more specific. Anyway, I'm honored to have been selected by some of
my comedy idols as the dumbest of all the dumb. Who knew that my teenage sexual
promiscuity would lead me to this joyous occasion? Also a cannibal.
I now have the responsibility of giving away 288 shirts that feature my gorgeous
mug, and you're welcome. I'll be wading through the many requests and submissions
across all of the social medias and whatnots, choosing my winners by the following
1.Proof of a recent donation to Planned Parenthood, R.A.I.N.N., The Southern Poverty
Law Center, or a comparable organization;
2.Bearded hotness. Gender irrelevant.
3.Your own personal dum-dum story and it's dummery as judged by me and whatever drunken
sailor is over the night I read it.
Below you will find a list of chosen winners, first name last initial state/country only.
Please do not be mad if you didn't win. Anger leads to cannibalism. That's from Star Wars.
Shirts won't go out any SOONER than August 26th, depending on how fast they are printed and
how fast I can mail them out.
It would be swell if you folowed me on the tweety or otherwise checked out or even bought
my music and such. You may see my face soon again on The Chris Gethard Show! Until then..
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